Welcome to Maoist Orange Cake. Each week one of our Divas posts a thoughtful (but not necessarily serious) essay on whatever calls forth her Voice or strikes her Fancy. We invite you to join us wherever the discussion leads.
Motto of the MOC: Sincere, yes. Serious? Never!

"I would also like to add that ‘Maoist Orange Cake is possibly the best name for a blog ever. Just my twopence." -- The Sixth Carnival of Radical Feminists, 1 October 2007

The Twelfth Carnival of Radical Feminists is up at The Burning Times blog and mentions one of our posts, Helen 'Wheels' Keller, for recommendation. Orangeists spreading our zest!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Have A Little Priest...

Some one who loves me finally gave me a Christmas present that I actually asked for this year; not bath salts, or candles, or perfume---no, this was a wonderful present; a crockpot. I used to have one, years ago, but it was broken during a move, and I never got around to replacing it. I knew the minute I laid eyes on this one what delectable dish I would first cook in it---my famous beef stew.

Last Sunday, with the smell of a home-cooked meal in the air, S/O got all appreciative and offered to take me to the one movie I've been jonesin' to see ever since it was first released; "Sweeney Todd". I've seen the stage version four times over the years, and I'm also quite the fan of Johnny Depp/Tim Burton films. But I was unsure---I knew the subject matter, and I also know S/O has a definite dislike of the horror genre. (This is a woman who refused to watch the network T.V. version of "What Lies Beneath.")

And so I felt I had to make sure she was up to the experience.

Me : "Are you sure? Do you know what it's about?

S/O: "Of course I know what it's about. I saw the DVD of the Broadway production, remember?"

Me : "Yeah, but that's the stage version. This is a movie. It's going to be in your face, and probably gory. Are you up for that?"

S/O: "It's a musical. How bad can it be?"

Me: "You know what we're having for dinner tonight---won't that bother you?"

S/O: "It won't bother me---why should it?"

I was concerned that S/O would be frightened, but not so much that I was willing to forgo the show. I knew that the gore wouldn't bother me; I grew up watching Hammer films, and things like "Night Of The Living Dead"....I resolved to be sure to cover her eyes at the appropriate moments.

S/O stocked up on popcorn at the concession stand, even though I warned her she might not want to eat once the movie starts. We went to our seats, looking forward to the cutting edge (no pun intended) musical experience.

I wish I could comment on the film in an intelligent manner, to give my review, I really do. Things such as why the title song was cut (I mean, for Chrissakes!) or why Helena Bohnam Carter just threw away all the good lines. That's not to say I didn't think it was a good movie. It was. I just didn't enjoy it.

I couldn't get past the blood.

When Sweeney slashes his first victim, blood and flesh flies, and as he keeps on going, it only gets worse. Victims were gurgling, choking on their own blood as I watched them through my parted fingers. Concerned for my S/O's welfare, I turned to her. "Are you okay?",I asked. "Oh yeah, sure," she whispered, happily munching popcorn and swilling Mountain Dew. "You?
"Just peachy," I replied, through gritted teeth.

By the time the film ended, I couldn't get to the loo fast enough. S/O on the other hand, was quite proud of her new found slasher-flick stamina. "That was BLOODY GOOD, wasn't it?," she said with a sly grin.

I almost had the gory images out of my mind, until I returned to our apartment, fragrant with the aroma of stewed meat. S/O was gaily belting out showtunes as she tempted me with savory morsels. "Have a little priest.." she sang, trying to feed me a bite.

S/O had two bowls, and dessert.

I had a biscuit.


Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Alas, poor Repubs!

Many of us Divas, through we’re an independent bunch, tend to lean Democratic in political matters. I understand we even have a card-carrying member of the party (me!) among us. That gives us a whole slew of top-notch candidates among whom to choose for President. (If I can’t have Big Al, gimme Little John!)

But pity the poor Republicans! They have to choose among nutcases and fascists, all infected with a serious case of religion. We progressives, however, are generous souls, always eager to help those in distress. To give aid and comfort to our suffering opponents, go to this (Democratic Party) website and vote for the candidate you think best represents the modern day Republican Party.

Democrats.Org Straw Poll
I urge our Republican readers to do the same, if only to mess up the results. Ignore the insulting, traitorous, bleeding-heart text, and vote.
Everyone be sure to attend your party caucus or vote in your primary. No matter who the media anoints, it ain’t over till it’s over.
Jana C.H.
36th Legislative District
“The very sapphire of blue Seattle”


Wednesday, January 9, 2008

girlfriend torture

We've known of this for a while, but last night, Boyfriend says "you're welcome" in response to nothing.
I scratch my head and wonder what that was all about, and am about to ask when I hear this music coming out of his computer speakers. I've had the song stuck in my head ever since.....

Shrimp on a Treadmill

so funny...so annoying....